A day of ponderings
i love you for including e in your day of ponderings :-) you are pretty.
well, I have been on this planet for close to two decades now, and I have yet to accept that I cant always win. I realize that my life is fine, and everything is good. However, I have many short commings that in one short decade society will nolonger look past. I must inturn fix these failures in my life to avoid harsh scrutiny later on. I am still single; been that way for close to three years now, pitiful, I know. Yet, until lately I never really felt alone. Now, I feel alone all the time; so, I have named my pillow Casey, and we cuddle every night, little creepy, I know, but it gets me through the rough nights. I have also come to the realization that I am broken, and that I will never get the big O, oh well, I guess I will just spend the rest of my life getting others off, and dying a little more on the inside every time. The person I am dying to be with, used me then threw me to the curb three weeks ago, and I think i could get over them if they didnt insist on becoming best friends with Lacie; who happens to be my life. I am going through some rough times, trying to avoid using a virgin to reassure myself that I am attractive. Silly honors floors and their still intact cherries. I also have an issue with validating myself through others. I am needy; though, apparently not too needy for my station, according to the jew I am pretty enough to be as needy as I am. To that I say Hazah world I am pretty. So suck it, cuz I know I am needy. Through my near two decades of living I have learned much but there is pllenty to change before i hit decade number three.
